Ikigai : What is your reason for being?

"Our ikigai is hidden deep inside each of us and finding it requires a patient search"

 Have you ever felt that crippling fear that you are not doing anything significant in life? seeing people your age achieve much greater things in life that you could probably not even dream of? Well, I certainly have, and you know what that feeling is eating me alive. it makes me anxious during the night which makes me incapable of falling asleep. It makes me want to question the purpose of my life. What am I really doing? What am I living for? What are we all grinding for? study hard, earn money, marry a stranger who your parents think will be a perfect match for you, be disappointed and unsatisfied, and live the same life all over again but now you are the parent. is this all life is about? 

And, after a lot of deep thinking, I can confidently say, Yes, and no. This doesn't necessarily have to be your life and even if it is so what? I think the hustle culture and the constant grinding mindset have made us want to chase after something we don't really want. 

What is wrong with living a mundane life? at least my bills are getting paid. at least I am able to feed myself and my family. at least I have a roof over my head. rich people most importantly influencers on social media influence us to romanticize every single bit of our life which has led us to be ungrateful about the little things we have right now. 

start enjoying embracing every single small moment that we tend to usually forget about and fall in love with it. Fall in love with people even if it breaks your heart. people are too weak these days. "oh it's better not to fall in love these days, love is painful!" Oh! it is! and it certainly is not for the weak. but isn't that the whole purpose of life? falling in love? whether it is with people, things, jobs, children, family, or yourself? When there is so much love in this world why waste your time being hateful and cruel to yourself and others? 

Once we realize that this life is not a war or a race but rather a journey to be lived at our own pace we will be at peace with ourselves. Learn to enjoy your own company first. I had a lot of trouble with this but one day when I was on my way to college I realized I was earlier than usual and I had some time to spare before the class would begin so I took myself out alone to Sunder Nursery, one of the most beautiful and calming places in Delhi, let me tell you. I went there by myself and sat by a cafe with a lakeside view. I have always been a little awkward in public thinking about what others would think of me. I could not even take a selfie in public! But in that very moment, I let go of all my worries and took a breath and let the beauty of nature sink within me and it was the most peaceful and calming feeling I ever felt. seeing lovers walking while holding hands, families sitting together, children laughing, running around and playing, the chirping of the bird, the sound of the lapping of the water, the rustling of the trees, and the beautiful flowers made me realize no matter how difficult life is going to be it still is beautiful, I will get through every moment and I am glad that I'm alive to witness this beauty. 

Take yourself out sometimes. not with your friends or any partner but yourself. I think that moment will be the moment of truth. that moment you will discover extraordinary riches which no government can tax, no human agency can corrupt, and which can never be destroyed. 

find your Ikigai.